12
Aug
2015
3

Words that turn heartbreak into ROFL*

*ROFL – roll on the floor laughing.

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Dear Pillow, sorry for spilling my tears all over you. I know that’s kind of gross.
Dear Heart, sorry for the damage. I hope you have insurance and it covers being a big crybaby.
Dear Brain, you owe Pillow and Heart big time, you dick.
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Don’t lose yourself trying to hold onto someone who doesn’t care about losing you. You’re not car keys.
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Starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends in a glass of cement so you can harden the hell up.
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It’s pretty painful when you have to smile to fight tears. But it’s pretty cool how smiles can fight. Kung Fu karate grin.
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There’s no point in fixing a broken mirror when you are just going to hurt yourself fixing it. Plus a taped-together mirror would warp your reflection and then you’d look ugly and cry more.
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Forget what hurt you in the past but don’t forget what it taught you. That sprained ankle says don’t stalk your ex if their bedroom window is not on ground level.
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What do you do when the one who broke your heart is the only one who can fix it? Hope you survive on the operating table and look forward to a sweet life living off compensation.
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Sticks and stones will break your bones and when someone’s a real jerk, words will punch you in the face and ruin your makeup.
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“I need to stop thinking about you because I know you’re not thinking about me.” Similar to when you think about a potato.
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When you care for someone more than they deserve, you get hurt more than you deserve. Like those idiots who get eaten by their “pet” wild animals.
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Just because someone desires you, doesn’t mean they value you. Except if you’re a prostitute. In that case they will generally need to know what you charge upfront.

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